September meant the start of school, balancing more professional photography gigs, and juggling family obligations. And if I’m being completely honest, I already kind of miss the calmer, quieter way of life that quarantine forced upon us. I’m one to hope that things will never go back to the “old normal” because in all reality that life isn’t sustainable for happiness. The busyness and all encompassing list of to-do’s in work and life consumed me some days, and I hadn’t felt that kind of anxiety in quite a while. Yes, I’m sad about most things being different, but am really focusing on holding onto that small glimmer of hope wherever I can find it. Some days it’s the amazingly beautiful place that I live, and others it’s the unexpected moment my preschooler runs up to me just to grab my hand and walk beside me. Then there are the worst days where it’s “shit, how is it 10pm and I still haven’t taken a photo today… I’m just gonna make this plain ole typewriter look interesting.” But I did it, may not be the prettiest, but I showed up and did ALL THE HARD THINGS. (Thanks Glennon Doyle for that reminder.)

One of the saddest days this month was when I thought I had dropped the ball and didn’t capture an image the previous day. And I surprised myself days later, looking at my phone and realizing I did grab a ‘quick snap’ on my iPhone. Was it a beautiful and intentionally shot image on my pro camera with my professional photographers eye? Nope. Will it win any awards? Definitely not. But yet it is one of my favorite of the month because ‘past-me’ had my back, and because of it, I’m still chugging down the 365-tracks. (I’m at day 274, and yes, I’m counting!)

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying my senior and family sessions, a great way for me to stretch my creativity, keep my photo practice up, and step back into working semi-regularly, even if just for a few weeks. Keep them coming, this is MY SEASON!

To think pre-COVID, I set off on this 365 photo journey with well intentions and a theme word of the year: grace. And hasn’t 2020 been the dumpster fire of a year to throw in all the hail Mary’s and ben and jerry’s ice cream? I have to remind myself to give me (and everyone else) handfuls more grace these days. I’ve been counteracting my mind with some time shooting in my studio/office. Just getting inspired by objects and getting lost in trying to perfect a vision or test a new concept. I’ve also taken more time to go for a drive and seek out the fall images which made me nostalgic for all those years of my 40 Days of Fall Project. I’m feeling a bit better about this month than last, and October is my favorite month so I hope to make it count.